Welcome to the 151 Freak Show
Erika shares this fabulous freak show tale:
A FREAK show . . . . that only the bus can deliver . . .
So, last Sunday, I'm ridin' home on the 151 bus yesterday after shopping at Bloomingdales. There was the craziest collection of utter freaks on that bus.
There was newlywed couple, who can't keep their hands off each other - which is not too freaky. Except the guy is utterly pasty and really pudgy with a high pitched squeaky voice, and his wife is a supermodel quality hottie, apparently Indian or something. I figure he must have money.
Then, up comes Angry Sporto Guy, who makes some snide comment (why?) to them as he huffs onto the bus. He's got a bright red face, big beer gut and looks reeeeally mad, and is lugging an enormous box of what is probably sport gear, but given the collection of nuts on board, I'm convinced it's bombs - he's the Sport Bomber.
The chick sitting next to me, is normal looking, stylishly dressed and with perfect makeup even. She then starts blinking rapidly and twitching and swearing and muttering about how the ACLU is not F***ING paying her enough, and they are F***ING with her . . . twitch-blink-blink-twitch.
In a respite from my horror, I glance at the mild mannered guy next to me, quietly reading his paper, which is neatly folded. Until I notice that the clipping is 10 years old, and it's a picture of Don Johnson, which is frayed from apparent affectionate fondling. He's gazing adoringly at this photo, and appears to be quite, uh, glad to look at ol' Don. Oy.
Then . . . JESUS BOARDS THE BUS. I kid you not, from the Lincoln Park zoo, a guy with long black hair, long white robe, sandals and . . . a big cross w/ INRI on it gets on. Sport Bomber apparently is very offended by Jesus, because he starts making angry remarks and is trying to pick a fight with him, his enormous sport bag is swinging inches from my face. Jesus, predictably, is diplomatic and appears to defuse the situation, at least until Sport Bomber exits the bus, near the playing fields.
This causes the Mutterer to rave louder about that damn ACLU . . .
Jesus gets off near Sheridan and Belmont, forgiving sins for everyone on the bus.
Paper Gazer gets off at a nursing facility on Sheridan, never taking his eyes off Don.
We get up to Irving/Broadway, and there is a guy lying LYING flat out on the sidewalk, all bright red and sunburned, apparently passed out drunk. Right on the sidewalk.
This all happened Sunday on the SAME bus ride. I kid you not. It was totally crazy.
I'd expect this kind of thing from the Dirty-Six, aka The Rolling Asylum.
Posted by: t | August 21, 2005 at 10:53 AM
Wow. Lotta matching categories, Kevin.
Posted by: tom sherman | August 21, 2005 at 06:10 PM
last night I saw a woman in a green ball gown, green gloves who was also wearing elf-ears and had painted herself entirely green riding the blue-line. No clue where she got off though, but she rode past wicker-park, so I can rest assure that this is not some new hipster trend.
Posted by: vit | August 22, 2005 at 08:10 AM
re: all-green cta passenger, see:
http://flickr.com/photos/edith/21816706/
and
http://flickr.com/photos/lizzyfc/29290563/
Posted by: Dunl | August 22, 2005 at 12:32 PM
this post just shows how critical people are based on silly things such as looks. erika is as much a freak probably as one of the people she posted about. making comments like, oh that guy must have money to have such a cute girlfriend, proves my point. and here we have a fat guy who's this and that. for all we know, erika very well might be Ms. Loud Phone Talker...
hey, as long as no one is bothering you, why do you judge, or give a shit?
Posted by: st | August 22, 2005 at 03:04 PM
Hey st, everyone at this blog is here to observe the weirdness on the CTA. It's one of our favorite forms of entertainment.
I thought it was an hilarious post, personally! I think all of us have had one of those freaky trips where every concievable odd human behavior is represented in either one el car or one bus. Those trips are totally worth the price of the $1.75 admission!
Posted by: Christine | August 22, 2005 at 04:24 PM
thanks for the pictures, I had my suspicions she was a performer of some sort.
Posted by: vit | August 22, 2005 at 08:41 PM
What is crazy is that you would take the 151 all that way - why not an express bus?
Posted by: John | August 22, 2005 at 09:49 PM
st: take your PC, Sesame Street values and ride the Blue Line with the Green Girl, eh?
Posted by: tom sherman | August 22, 2005 at 11:59 PM
Thanks for the photos. As fun as they are I was a bit disappointed. I had hoped the Green Girl was just Ana Gasteyer on her way home from the evening performance of Wicked!
Posted by: patrick | August 23, 2005 at 09:20 AM
Dunl, some people (like you, apparently) probably think I'm a freak. I don't really care. Just for the record, I am not Ms. Loud Phone Talker.
This is a blog to report freaky things people see on the CTA, with embellishments and personal opinions. Got that? If you're not into a bit of creative writing, why read this stuff?
And "vit" - I usually take the 147 vs. the 151. However, it was a leisurely Sunday, and I like to take the long way home sometimes to see what's new in the 'hoods that the 151 goes thru.
Posted by: Erika | August 23, 2005 at 02:52 PM
Erika, Dunl doesn't think you are a freak, he posted the links to the green girl pics.
Posted by: m | August 24, 2005 at 11:02 AM
Jesus, a green girl and a man carrying a snake all walk on a bus.........sounds like the first line of a stupid joke :)
Posted by: cmama | August 24, 2005 at 12:58 PM
Ah, sorry . . . I meant to say "st". My bad, thanks. :-)
Posted by: Erika | August 27, 2005 at 10:34 AM
that was really funny! specially when the "jesus" guy came in.
i usually ride the bus alone and love to seat at the back part where its elevated and i can look around the bus. then the people watching starts. ^_^v
Posted by: biniBningPunkista | August 10, 2008 at 01:57 PM